That JUST Happened.

 

“Did that just blow your mind?” “That JUST happened!” 10 points that don’t mean anything to the first person who can name that movie.

 

First of all, I totally forgot that I had yesterday’s post going up and how freaking appropriate that it went up when it did because that night, I had a complete mental breakdown. I’m talking, when you finally hit a wall after all sorts of things have been building up inside you and you just can’t take it anymore. G.D. (gosh damn) mental illnesses. You can stop trying to ruin me now, thanks, ass faces.

 

Moving right along… after my freak-out Wednesday night, I was a complete zombie on Thursday (good thing I don’t do anything for my “job” but watch movies and work on blog posts, right?). So, to pick my spirits up, Coro-Poro took me to watch my little brother’s baseball game with the ‘rents. P.S. shout-out to my little brother for receiving 2^nd team all-conference for the northwest NWAAC division and a Golden Glove recipient! He might annoy the shit out of me for how G.D. arrogant he can be, but I’m proud of him!
 

 

Well, there was some miscommunication between mommy dearest and myself about what time the game started so Cor and I had some time to waste before the first pitch. He said since we were close to his tattoo artist, he wanted to stop in and talk about making an appointment to get some more ink done (just what he needs… not). So, we drove down the street to it and went in. Unfortunately, his “guy” wasn’t there… Y’all know that I’ve wanted to get a tat for quite some time, right? And you know what’s been holding me back, of course. Does the word “needle”, ring a bell? Yeah, home girl don’t DO needles. Ain’t nobody got time for that. But here we were in a tattoo shop so I figured I would ask some questions.

 

We walked back to the car and got in at which point our conversation was as follows:

Me: Wouldn’t it be super cray cray if I just got a tattoo right here, right now?

Cory: It wouldn’t be crazy. Let’s do it.

Me: Ya think? No way. I’m not ready! I haven’t prepared myself… does it hurt? What does it feel like, again? Should I? Shit, my palms are sweating just talking about it!

Cory: We’re here. You’ve been talking about that tattoo for almost a month now and the guy is just sitting there… Just get it done!

Me: Oh shit, fuck shit, shit, shit. Ok, ok, ok…ok. Ok. I’m ready; I’m gonna do it. Let’s do this.

(walking back into the tattoo shop)

Me: I’m shaking. Bring the water; what if I pass out? I’m scared that I’m gonna pass out. I need water!! Holy shit, I can’t believe I’m doing this.

(I think Cory was getting irritated with all my comments and complaints that he just stopped listening)

 

 

 

I was so damn nervous; I could barely fill out my paperwork. Um, why do they need a copy of my driver’s license? Shit is intense.

 

Lemme play it all out for y’all in pictures:

 

 

  Getting all prepped! Please note: as much as I LOVE my boyfriend, he's not the greatest photographer... gotta give him credit for trying... he does it because he knows I'm gonna want it on my blog. Duh.     Getting inked. Aka, it's really happening.     ...and this was my face during the process. Ha. I wish I was kidding.     And there ya have it. My first tat... just like that. Game day bucket go boom.     My tattoo artist... aka Jase Robertson. Duck Dynasty for the win.   And as for the meaning behind my tat?  

 
...yeah, I'd say that seems pretty fitting for the way my life has been for a while.

I still can’t believe I got it done. Ask me how long the whole process took including prep? Less than a minute. Serious. I can’t make this shit up people.

 

I’m super proud of myself for facing my fears and finally being able to cross this little diddy off my bucket list:

The best part? Cory paid for it! Hi, sweetest guy EVER!

 

 

 Best.guy.EVER.

 

 

My parent’s reaction? Priceless. I put my foot up, all saran wrapped, on the rail at the game and started a normal conversation with them; all the while glancing down towards my foot every few seconds until they noticed. ‘What’s wrong with your foot? What is that?! You finally got one! What does it mean!? Did it hurt? Oh man, now I’VE gotta get one!’

 

And there you have it, folks. I’ve officially been inked (Please read that in Xibit’s voice when he says ‘you’ve officially been pieemped’… because that’s the way I typed it.). Getting a tattoo makes me feel like one BAMF… even if it is small and nothing even remotely badass

Insane in the Membrane... Insane in the Brain!

 

Title throwback, circa 1993. You know you sang it in your mind when you saw it.

 

As many of you know, I struggle with anxiety and depression. I’ve never kept it a secret, especially on the blog. About 7 years ago, I was diagnosed with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and severe depression. For the longest time, my doctor wouldn’t do anything about it – go see a counselor, just breathe, yada-yada-yada – and I always thought to myself, ‘easier said than done, doc.’ For those of you who fall into what they call the “mental illness” category with me, you can probably relate.
 

Yes, thank you doctor... please tell me something I don't already know.

 

I took my doctor’s advice and started seeing a counselor, whom I happen to LOVE. The first time I went, all I could think was, ‘well, this is where my life has taken me… straight to a shrink where I’m gonna be asked to pour my heart out only to be asked, ‘how does that make you feel?’…No thanks,’ but that wasn’t the case at all. I’m a pretty open person in general but, her and the setting of her office made me feel extremely comfortable from the get-go. I felt I could truly open up to her and she knew exactly how to put into words what I was feeling and why. Sometimes an hour session would seem too long; I’d run out of things to talk about and other times, an hour didn’t seem like enough. We hang out in her office and BS about all kinds of crap, even if it has nothing to do with the reason why I went in for a session. In a nutshell, don’t knock having to go to a therapist or counselor until you try it. And I say that hoping that you have the same experience I’ve had.

 

So, here I am going to counseling and she asks, ‘what medication are you taking for your mental illness?’ – p.s. I HATE that they call it a mental illness. It makes it seem so much worse, don’t ya think? I am kind of surprised by this question and tell her none… my doctors never even brought up the option of medication. I didn’t want to have to go on meds anyways; I wanted to be able to handle this without “drugs”, so to speak. But she called my doctor and requested that he prescribe me a low dose of an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety. And holy shit, they worked! …for about 6 months. At that point, they switched me over to another medication, as long as I was still seeing my counselor, which I have been on ever since and it has been super helpful.

 

Well, my sessions with my counselor started to thin out within the last year or so; I started going less and less until I finally stopped going altogether. I got sick of telling the same story and hearing her saying the same damn things. I pretty much just said, ‘screw this. I don’t need a counselor; I can do it on my own.’ I’m not sure that was the best decision I’ve ever made but, hey… it is what it is, Jack.
 

I feel like this more often than not. The struggle, I tell ya.

 

The meds I’ve been on are still helping me (for the most part… some days, my panic attacks will come on so strong that the medication isn’t enough to stop them), but now… The doctors are telling me that there’s a chance I could be adding one more disorder to my list of “illnesses”. Fucking perfect… because everyone at age 25 wants to hear that. Before taking any drastic measures, they want to rule out that my sleeping habits have anything to do with how I’ve been feeling so for the next week in a half, I’m taking sleeping pills to help me get a good nights’ rest. I am so IN LOVE with sleep; I could lie in bed every day, all day and just snooze on and off. How pathetic does that sound, right? I triple love napping, too. Certain people from my past loved napping, too, but started having to give it a certain time limit because if we didn’t, I’d sleep for hours and we’d never get around to doing what we had planned. Whoops?

 

So, I’m giving this trial and error crap a chance, taking my sleeping pills, and I suppose we’ll see what the outcome is. In my mind, I can’t stop thinking, ‘Why can’t you just be fucking normal, Kristine? What the fuck is wrong with you?!’ I’ll tell ya what’s wrong… maybe another day :)



Oh, How Pinteresting! Vol. 63

Linking up with Michelle for another edition of...

 



  Here's just a few of pins as of late (p.s. I'm brand spanking new to this newly so-called "more improved" Pinterest look... bare with me -- or is it "bear" with me? Whatever.):    

And as always, happy pinning!

 

P.S. NOT really digging this whole embedded change. Way to make it way harder on bloggers, Pinterest. You should really think these changes through before you just go ahead and make them happen.

 

It's Your Birthday?!

Yesterday was my blog’s 2^nd birthday.

I’m a little late to my own blog’s party, I know.

 Ask me what I’m doing to celebrate this “milestone”?

 

NOTHING.

 

 Does this make me a bad blogger?

Last year, I did a giveaway for a target gift card (always a hit with everyone here in Blogland…), but this year? I’ve got nothing. Hell, I didn’t even realize my blog’s big day was coming up until I saw Stephanie’s post about her blog’s birthday.

 

It doesn’t even feel like it’s been two years since I started Living Barefoot and Crazy. The time has just flown by! I took some time to go back and look at old posts and let Cory go through and read some of the best times I’ve had… along with some of the worst. It’s hard to believe all the shit that’s gone down (and up!) in my life in the past 24 months. Seems crazy that all these things that I’ve endured have landed me where I am today.

 

 I love how many friends I have made through this little blog of mine; both through the interwebs and in real life. Being able to keep up with your journeys in life, whether they are finishing or starting school, getting married or getting divorced, finding love or losing love, having children and losing children… Getting to know all of you on a personal level when the majority of us haven’t even met face-to-face has been the most incredible experience for me. To think, before I started this blog, I scoffed at the idea of meeting people online… who would’ve thought I’d be here now, being able to call some of you good friends of mine?

 Your friendships and stories make me want to continue blogging (as if I had any intention of stopping…) and using my blog to share my stories with y’all. Most of you, especially those of you have been around since the very beginning, have watched me go through my ups and downs these past two years and have helped me through so many struggles. You’ve known just what to say when I can’t find the words to express how I’m truly feeling. Y’all have been my biggest supporters and I’m so thankful for all of you each and every day.

 

 Though I’m going to miss being able to keep up with y’all on either Instagram and/or Twitter, I’m making more of a commitment to le blog and I hope you’ll come along and see how the rest of my life unfolds.

 

 So, here’s to two years of Living Barefoot and Crazy… it’s been a bumpy ride, but I’m just getting started.



This Weekend, I... Vol. 17

I've really been slacking on this link-up with mah girrrrllls, Syndal and Sar... Damn you, Life! I kid, I kid... Anyhow, guess who's back? Back again...

 



  This weekend, I... spent all my time down in Albany/Corvallis, OR (or 'Corvalley', as we so lovingly refer to it as) for -- what else? -- a volleyball tournament. We played at Oregon State University (home of the Beavers!) and I think it's safe to say that I am IN LOVE with their campus. It's gorgeous!! On the volleyball note, it was quite a weekend. We did great the first morning, then it all fell to shambles in the afternoon... I spent Saturday evening in urgent care due to one of my girls being taken out by another team. Emotions and tensions were running high; girls were falling apart, crying and what not, parents were all kinds of up in arms about who knows what. Needless to say, I'm happy to be home and done with the tournament. My girls took 39th out of 75th, so yay!     In Truax -- just OSU's amazing indoor practice field. No big.     Love me some black and orange! #DemonsForLife -- valley people, you know what I'm talking about :)   This weekend, I... got to have some face time with my seester!! We are the same person, I swear, except she's the girly version and I'm the guy version... and I'm OK with that :)     Chalkboard tables? Sign me up!     Oh, you know Mama Janice had to join in the festivities!     This was an absolute MUST. If you've never had Dutch Bros coffee, you are missing out. I can't have caffeine but it's still the best "coffee" I've had.   This weekend, I... spent some time with mi madre (never had one Spanish lesson... you impressed?)... so thankful for my mom; she's my biggest supporter and always knows just what to do. She's always willing to drive to travel tournaments and will come to our closer games and get to know my girls and their families and support the team. Long story short: she's awesome.     Mom's day card and gift!   Hope everyone had a great weekend!

The Day Has Finally Come...

...that day being when I walk away from social networking... again.

 



  Yup. I've been tossing around the thought of stepping away from these two social media outlets for a few reasons...   1. DRAAAAMMMMAAA. Everyone's got it or has at least had some in their life, unfortunately. This is the reason I deleted my Facebook over two years ago and is again, the number one reason I have been thinking about deleting my Twitter and Insta. I know what y'all are thinking, 'who cares about others and what they think? You're the bigger person in the situation,' which is very much true, yes, however... it's so much more than that.   2. A lot of the time, I feel social media turns into a popularity contest; people are constantly advertising themselves -- "follow me back" or "I'll follow you if you follow me?" -- it's just plain redic, yo. I felt myself turning into one of those people who was concerned about how many people followed me in comparison to some others. Like, seriously? Who the fuck cares?!   See? Even that bat-shit cray cray Wonka gets it.   3. A bit of cyber-bullying. It's not SUPER extreme and I don't even think "bullying" would be the correct term to use, but ghosts from my past seem to always want to cause issues, whether that be minor or major storms -- big surprise, right? It's been going on for a while and I have just turned my back to it and ignored it for quite a long time and I've finally hit a point where enough is enough. As most of you know (well, my followers since the very beginning at least), I've been through it all; to hell and back, if you will, and it needs to stop. I don't deserve all the shit that has happened to me and it's putting a stop to it is WEELLLL overdue. Disclaimer: I'm not saying these things looking for some kind of sympathy... trust you and me, I ain't that pathetic.     4. An outlet for boredom. Who here reading this can honestly say they've been driving/riding in their car and been cruising their insta or twit feed? A show of hands? Don't even try to hide it! The thing is, we all do it; we get bored and grab our phones and start thumbing through shit. Not only has the boyfriend mentioned it to me, but I've noticed it myself; I'm always on my phone doing something... granted, I use my phone a lot during the volleyball season, staying in close contact with my team, my assistant coach, and my club director, but that's no excuse to have my phone permanently attached to my hand. I don't know if any of you have had issues in your relationships regarding your time spent on your phone, but I've noticed it's put a strain on mine in the past and I hate the fact that I've let social media be more of a priority than the relationships I have outside of technology. It's time to step back from these aspects of social media for the time being and re-connect with life "on the outside". -- like how I threw that in there? Gosh, sometimes I can be just so GD clever, I can hardly stand it ;)     For those of you saying, "NOOOOO! Don't leave!" I appreciate it and love y'all more than you even know. The response I got on both Twitter and Instagram was amazing... you guys have helped me through so many situations since I started this blog and I am so thankful to have y'all in my life. So don't be so sad because... I'll still be blogging!! And pinning! I mean, let's be real... I can't walk away from EVERYTHING ;)   And if you don't keep up with my blog, well... your loss? I will be posting more often without social media, of course. Luckyyyyy.... name that movie. So stop by and say "hey, girl, heyyyyy!"

Oh, How Pinteresting! Vol. 62

Linking up with Michelle for the first time in what seems like ages for...

 



  Some of my pins as of late:  

 

 

 

...and that's all I got :)   Happy pinning!